Falcon, the renegade theorist of pop-chaos, steps onto his soapbox under a neon streetlamp. His cloak is patch-worked with memes, sigils, and grayscale screenshots of his favorite music videos.
He raises a finger like a professor about to lecture the cosmos:
“Behold the genius of Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball!” he declares.
“To the uninitiated, it’s just a breakup anthem. But to the Discordian mind? It’s a ritual object. A sphere of pure Eris-energy, swinging through the false architecture of consensus reality!”
Nelly Furtado laughs, nudging Joe Jukic, who already knows where Falcon is going with this.
Falcon continues:
“You see, Miley doesn’t just ride a wrecking ball—she defies physics with it. She suspends the laws of motion with the sheer force of emotional entropy. And that right there is the secret of Discordianism:
Eris laughs at Newton.
“And my friends…” He lowers his voice dramatically. “This is why the Bavarian Illuminati fear her.”
Joe raises an eyebrow. “Fear Miley?”
Falcon nods vigorously. “Of course! Miley’s Eris-charged symbolism destabilizes their entire aesthetic. The Illuminati worship order. Geometry. Symmetry. Pyramids and straight lines. Miley is chaos incarnate—she swings in circles and smashes everything they build!”
He flips open a beat-up notebook labeled Principia Mileyica.
“In Discordian lore,” Falcon explains, “the Illuminati constructed the World Tower of Control—totally fictional, mind you—an invisible skyscraper made of rules, lies, and boring meetings. And Miley smashed through it with one swing of pure emotional truth.”
Nelly grins. “So you’re saying Wrecking Ball is basically a magical act?”
“Not just magical,” Falcon says. “Anti-Illuminati artillery. Discordian warfare. Art as the hammer of Eris.”
Joe cracks up. “And what about your ‘suspended physics’ theory?”
“Ah yes!” Falcon shouts. “The wrecking ball hangs in a state of chaotic suspension. It obeys physics, yet also breaks them artistically. It exists in that liminal space where Discordianism thrives—the border between sense and nonsense, order and chaos, Newton and Nietzsch—”
He stops, raises a finger again:
“This is why Miley is our champion. Our chaos bard.
Our holy wrecking priestess.
Arch-enemy of the fictional Bavarian Illuminati.”
Nelly applauds.
Joe bows toward the imaginary wreckage.
Falcon closes his notebook and whispers:
“Eris bless Miley Cyrus…
for she came in like a wrecking ball.”
