INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
The room glows with the purple-and-yellow shimmer of the Hannah Montana opening credits. A retro polygraph machine sits on the coffee table, wires leading straight to MAXX MORANDO, who looks like he’s preparing for surgery rather than a TV marathon.
BILLY RAY CYRUS, wearing his classic mullet wig from the old days, squints at the lie detector graph like he’s decoding a CIA message.
BILLY RAY
Alright, Maxx… simple question.
Do you love watchin’ Hannah Montana?
MAXX
(too confident)
Of course I do. Big fan. Huge. Massive.
The polygraph needle immediately spasms like it’s possessed.
BILLY RAY
(grim)
Son… that machine says you’re lyin’ worse than Jackson when he blamed Rico for breakin’ the smoothie machine.
MAXX
(defensive)
Okay, okay! Maybe I was more of a Zack & Cody guy!
Billy Ray sighs with the disappointment of a father who just found out his kid ate the entire box of Pop-Tarts.
BILLY RAY
You’re dating Miley… you gotta at least pretend to love her alter ego.
On the couch beside them, LUIS MORGADO sits with perfect posture, no wires, hands folded like he’s testifying before Congress.
BILLY RAY
Now Luis… your turn.
Would you say you love Hannah Montana?
LUIS
(smiling quietly)
Loved her so much… I named my childhood dog after her.
RIP, Hannah.
The room falls silent for a second. The polygraph—despite not even being plugged into him—prints out a perfect row of calm, honest lines. Billy Ray stares at it like he’s witnessing a miracle.
BILLY RAY
Well I’ll be… the machine is readin’ your integrity through the airwaves.
Maxx watches with envy and dread.
MAXX
…Did the dog at least like the show?
LUIS
She barked every time the theme song came on.
I took it as applause.
Billy Ray claps Luis on the back.
BILLY RAY
That’s what true love for Hannah Montana looks like, Maxx.
Take notes.
Maxx sinks into the couch as the episode begins. Luis reaches for the popcorn, peaceful, like a man who knows the polygraph will never betray him.
